04.04.2014 - 06.04.2014 40 °F
I’ve struggled with how best to describe this ‘gem’ of a place.
So, let’s see if you can figure it out?
1.The first thing you will see upon arrival to South Beach?
A. Flocks of very large women in very small bathing suits parading the street
B. Triple figure automobiles parked the length of the street
C. Cocktail drinks so big you literally need either a friend or a serious strength program in order to attempt lifting it.
D. All of the above.
2.Happy hour lasts from _______________
B. 4pm – 5:30pm
C. 24 Hours
3.At any given moment, in any given direction you will see which of the following?
A. Someone taking a ‘kissy-face selfie’
B. A shirtless dude who loves the creatine
C. A pair of women doing the holding hands lean, stumbling ass shake drunken shuffle.
D. Purple pleather leggings, rhinestone 6’’ pumps and tops proclaiming phrases such as “Sexy and I know it”
E. All of the above.
4.Going to the beach is ________________
A. Tranquil and relaxing way to pass the afternoon
B. An up & coming reality show entitled “Tan and Trashy”
C. An affirmation that society as a whole is failing
D. Anything imaginable except answer “A”
5.In order to live in South Beach you need….
A. A surgically enhanced body.
B. A surgically enhanced liver.
6.Complete the location where you would hear the following..
A. “Can I Snapchat your boobs….”
B. “Giiiiirrrl you fast but you be packing a small ass”
C. “I’m going to tap, tap, tap, tap tap, tapppppp dat assssssss”
D. “I be going to BO-LI-VIA. Come wit me. You wanna go to BOLIVIA o’ what”
6. A. Topless 15yr old at the beach
(Where the heck are your parents?)
B. Race course at mile 2.5. Sung as a rap repeatedly….for 4 hours?
C. Ocean drive boardwalk, anywhere at anytime.
D. Waiting at the crosswalk
It still doesn't do it justice. But South Beach is an interesting place for sure.
Can't wait to race there next year....for my first pro race!?!
Phase III: 48 Hours of Ecstasy
Here's to peace, hot-tubing & moving forward