A Travellerspoint blog

Entries about emotional wellbeing

Sliced and Diced.

My people. My passion. My path

sunny 50 °F

The Scene

When: 11:30pm. 5 hours before scheduled arrival time to hospital

Where: The streets of Boston, North End.

Who: Three of my nearest and dearest, who took me out, made me laugh and snuggled all over me - keeping me happy and distracted the night before my surgery.

Dialogue: "Wait. Umm...It looks like Umass Medical Memorial Campus is not here in Boston, it's uhhhh.....back in Worchester*."
"What. The. Fuck. How do I not know what CITY my surgery is scheduled in!?" "Seriously. You can't make this shit up"

  • for the CO crew it is pronounced 'Wooster'

So. We laughed a bit, set our alarms for even earlier in the wee hours and hunkered down for a couple hours of sleep before driving back in the direction I had started in. Navigation has never been a strong suit. Always thankful for old friends and new beginnings.

Anyways. I made it where I needed to be, for when I needed to be there, and by 7:30am I was laughing hysterically, in a super sexy hospital johnny asking the birth dates of everyone on my surgical team...then came 'lights out'. By 10am I was groggy, repaired and EXHAUSTED.

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  • rest easy, just a little cornea irritation warranted this bad ass eye patch.

Now. Other stuff.

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Summer turned into fall.

Had some big realizations of what it is that I love doing, and the direction I want to go. I also remembered that the people in my life are the best kind of friends because where we are just doesn't matter...Colorado, Massachusetts, Anywhere in between, If it's been 4 months or 14 years, somethings never change and that is amazing. Priceless.
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I learned a lot, lead a lot, grew a lot.

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Early Morning Meeting

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Kennebec River Trip.
Outdoor Wilderness Leaders 'Start the Year Off Right Trip'

Afternoon Commute

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Kayaking Day Camp Program

Business Trip

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Different office, Different day
NAUI Scuba Instructor Course

Oh. And.
This happened, and now I need to learn to sail.
The power, pulse and peacefulness of the ocean is where I feel at home.
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Hmm...I wonder if I know anyone who can teach a girl to sail..

Quote of the moment:
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Countdown:
Embracing each day as it comes. Countdown free. But, I mean technically....if we WERE going to be counting down something it would likely be Surfing in Panama. And in that case it's 3,352 hours. #recovertosurf

Cheers to peace, patience and recovering little by little
Aubs

Posted by AubreyJ 03:28 Archived in USA Tagged me landscapes beaches art home nature beach travel airport fun family massachusetts friendship boating coffee competition hospital fitness action strength laughter surgery repair quotes dreams inspiration recovery introspection leadership fantasy inspire motivation choices best_friends east_coast caffeine being_scared being_strong instincts emotional_wellbeing athlete_problems funny_story umass labral hips Comments (0)

What happens in Key West stays in Key West.

Actually, No. These memories will last a lifetime.

sunny 65 °F

First: Little Tidbits Of Travel

Assorted airports and assorted quotes that sums up 6 flights. Yes, it took 6 different planes to get to and from Key West.

TEXAS:
“Name one food you can’t put bacon on and it will taste better”

Q: May I just have an omelet with all the veggie options you have?
A: Well, we can do onions and bacon.
Q: Umm…let’s skip the bacon, and how about some of the other options from other places on the menu…peppers,,,broccoli
A: Ok. onions, tomato and bacon
Thought: We aren’t in boulder anymore Toto.

DENVER:
“I’ve just found this to be a good use of time while I’m waiting to board….”
-Says the man who is (literally) bicep curling his carryon bag.

MIAMI:
“Awwwww hell no….I did not just only bring my short lashes” <crisis mode voice> Says the woman gluing eyelashes on in the public bathroom.

Shuttle 1 of 4:
“Insert Video Clip Here (If I had one)” Of the shuttle driver belting out some pretty intense ‘praise to the kingdom’ ‘amen’ ‘hallejuigh, love thy savior’ jams at 3:45am. #americanidolworthy #myfillofreligionfortheyear

SILLY LIFE OBSERVATIONS:

1. Dear You: Just take the entire cookie. Because you know when you break it in half, and leave one half behind….It is only a matter of time until you go back, break that half in half and….Seriously ¾ of a cookie!? Who does that. (Yeahh…you know you do…it’s ok, we all do)

2.Your ‘delicates’ and ‘tech clothes’ getting hung to dry is a direct reflection as to how much spare time you have on laundry day. AKA, I’ve got 90 seconds before I have to leave…screw it it’s all going in the dryer.

METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING….

Life is a river...It is not a straight line.
Don't take yourself too seriously. Have fun. Be silly.
Being scared is ok, it means you care.
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In kayaking we would rate rivers by class, but not just the rapid itself. A section could be “Class IV” for example, but with “class V” consequences. Meaning there was something about the rapid that if you were to get into a bad spot the repercussions were more dangerous than the technical skills required to get through. Maybe there were under cut rocks, or some strainers (downed trees) Before putting in it all comes down to, “Is it worth it?” ”Is it worth the risk”. You would make that decision knowing that once you dropped in, you were committed to paddle your little butt to the best of your ability, and have an intense amount of fun while doing it….because something about the sport brings you great joy.
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Maybe it’s inexplicable. Maybe it doesn’t make sense to you all the time. Perhaps when you think about it you can’t pin point the how or the why it makes you so happy. Why are you wiling to devote so much time to the river?

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I've been thinking about how scary and confusing it can be to begin to let someone into your life, and into your heart…..like on the river, there is a similar level of uncertainty..of risk. It is something that takes time, energy and commitment to make forward progress. Maybe sometimes in life we need to stop all the calculating and just drop into the river, not knowing exactly what each rapid ahead holds…but knowing that at the end of the day it is worth it…because being there brings you great joy and that is enough.
#LifeIsARiver #GoGetWet

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Quote Of The Moment

"We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that someone know that they inspire you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how, you love. There is courage in that." #MakeYourOwnPath #BeBold #BeBrilliant #NeverSettle

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Key West Tri

I created a roller-coaster for myself the week leading into this trip. Understatement. Debating on whether I want to race, whether I wanted to go, dreading travel, totally fighting getting sick, and just feeling 'off'.

When push came to shove / it came time for the aircraft doors to close….I stayed in my seat, found a big smile and got ready for a 12 hour travel adventure.

My hesitations about traveling were quickly resolved as soon as I found myself in RJs arms at the Miami airport. Feeling sick lingered, and not wanting to race hung around even longer…essentially right up until the gun went off.

I told myself that there are going to be days where my mind just doesn’t want to show up, and you need to make yourself race well and get over it. So, the day became about finding focus, finding good form and having fun. 3 successful missions. I had the 2nd fastest swim out of the men and women, 14th fastest bike and 3rd fasted run. Playing catch up to the boys and placing 3rd overall , 1st out of the women. It was a tiny race, 500 people total but just like all the races I’ve done this year it became a good learning / building block for next season.
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In some ways it was a confidence boost and in many others a reality check…..I realize the amount of work, progress and improvement that needs to happen. I also realize that I am on a time sensitive path, and with how high I am reaching I can’t afford to waste time, energy or resources. I feel pretty lucky to be surrounded by such a supportive network at home and abroad….

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That night we tore it up in the streets as a band played downtown Key West,. A couple of lone dancers we were as everyone else stood on the curb, head bobbing and foot-tapping with enthusiasm along to the music. Super lame. They were missing out, not us ; ) We were (per usual) just a couple of crazy kids, out to have a good time and make the most of our time together.

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The next day I woke up early to ride and then the four of us (RJ & his folks) spent the day snorkeling, kayaking, sailing, and playing in the ocean. Oh and we went para-sailing, no big deal ; ) It was the “ultimate adventure day” – literally. That is what the package was called….and appropriately named for sure. Saw a turtle and reef shark while snorkeling, got me excited to do some diving in Bonaire next month.

I suppose that is enough for today…since my battery is about kicked.

Quote of the Moment:
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Cheers to sunrise rides, caring deeply and laughing until it hurts,
Aubs

Posted by AubreyJ 06:04 Archived in USA Tagged me mountains beaches home beach travel vacation colorado airport sunrise friends kayaking fun family run share men living bike friendship cycling airports traveling training competition boulder fitness action running strength racing laughter independence whitewater baggage races quotes dreams flor learning goals inspiration triathlon fantasy motivation choices multisport. caffeine being_scared being_strong random_facts bike_racing instincts live_big race_day emotional_wellbeing open_water_swimming self_reflection swim_bike_run athlete_problems open_water funny_story Comments (1)

My Relationship with Sleep

The Struggle & Some Solutions

sunny 40 °F

As far back as I can remember, sleeping never came easy.

I remember tip-toeing the hallway of Nonnie and Pepes sleeping house, the only noise being the clink-clink-clink of the dining room clock. I remember setting up pillows and blankets next to Mom and Dads bed, or outside their door....not to sleep, but to silently put on shows for them (as they slept) with my stuffed animals. I remember being the instigator at every single sleepover, just to keep my playmate having fun. If we were being silly, they wouldn't go to sleep and leave me as the only one awake in the house. And let's not even get into the sleep-walking adventures, mid-sleep laughing fits and lengthily conversations I'll have while in dreamland.

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Nighttime routines helped a lot. When I was little my dad and I always had the same exchange of words after I was tucked in. He would rub my back in familiar patterns, all giving me a sense of security and helping me relax. As I grew up I slowly started to figure it out bit by bit. I would come up with my own routines. In relationships, I fear the other person has always had their share of gentle elbows waking them up for one last reassuring 'goodnight' or 'i love you'.

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More recently, as training has increased I have found that I am unable to maintain my day to day if my sleep gets foxed with. Not willing to compromise training, recovery, or you know.....all the critical functions that sleep enables like hormone regulation, immune function, repairing cells and tissues, integrating new information and organizing long-term memories. I decided it was time to really address this chronic issue.

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I can't tell you how many great friends and amazing people have helped me the past few weeks try and tackle this thing. Your suggestions, similar experiences and home remedies have made quite the difference. So, it is here that I will compile them and pay it forward to someone else.

Rest Easy My Dear

1. Plan Your Sleep.
Determine how much sleep you need and what time you need to wake up. Figure out a 'bedtime'.

2. Create a Bedtime Ritual:
The trick here, is make it one that you can do independently, and anywhere. This will help make transitioning to travel no big deal.

3. Un-Plug.
Start a “slowdown” process in the evening by turning off computers, and TVs. Yes, even try to push the cell phone away. (Work in progress on this one)
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4. Set the Mood
Turn off any harsh or bright lighting. Dim lights will start to slow down your busy brain.

5. Your Belly.
Avoid caffeine in the afternoon. Even when you are to the point that you would wrestle a grandma to the road for her cup o' joe....It will not be worth it later (both the coffee and the taking down of grandma) This one is a work in progress for me too.
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6. Body Clock
Waking at a similar time each day, including weekends will help train your body to stay on a sleep schedule. It seems to be working...hence, why I just happened to wake up at 6:30am today, a Saturday. Now I will drink my fair share of 'Morning Only' coffee and blog about sleeping. Hmm....

7. Wine or Tea.
There is nothing wrong with a glass of red wine a couple hours before bed. Have it with dinner, and really enjoy that time. I've been having wine a few nights a week and the others I'll have sleepy-time tea. Mostly as an experiment to see which works better. Or, let's be real, sometimes both ; )

8. Melatonin
I'm putting this one on the list, but I personally don't think it is a great idea for everyday use. I'll only use it to aid in sleeping after I've jumped timezones for travel.

9. Monkey Mind
If your mind is running in circles as you are laying in bed. It's not going to stop. Give yourself 5 minutes to write down anything and everything that is proving to be important to your mind. Make your to-do list, write down your concerns, list out things in your life that need resolution and how to get there, make your grocery list...whatever. Get it out of your head.
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10. P.O.M
"Peace Of Mind" Remind yourself the value of today being today and tomorrow being tomorrow. Everything will happen in the pace it is supposed to. So no stressing, just get the F to sleep.

Well. Not the typical entry, but you know.
It's something I've been wanting to get out there.
Next up will be a whirlwind of life announcements, embarrassing stories and who knows.

Countdown:
Today is important. Let's keep our minds here today.

Quote of the Moment:
"Action expresses priorities" Mahatma Gandhi

Here's to peace, resting well and mobility,
Aubs

Posted by AubreyJ 07:49 Archived in USA Tagged travel training resting fitness action health healthy recovery triathlon caffeine priorities sleep_problems emotional_wellbeing Comments (0)

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