Entries about miami

I’ve struggled with how best to describe this ‘gem’ of a place.
So, let’s see if you can figure it out?

SoBo Quiz:

1.The first thing you will see upon arrival to South Beach?
A. Flocks of very large women in very small bathing suits parading the street
B. Triple figure automobiles parked the length of the street
C. Cocktail drinks so big you literally need either a friend or a serious strength program in order to attempt lifting it.
D. All of the above.

2.Happy hour lasts from _______________
A. 10am-Noon
B. 4pm – 5:30pm
C. 24 Hours

3.At any given moment, in any given direction you will see which of the following?
A. Someone taking a ‘kissy-face selfie’
B. A shirtless dude who loves the creatine
C. A pair of women doing the holding hands lean, stumbling ass shake drunken shuffle.
D. Purple pleather leggings, rhinestone 6’’ pumps and tops proclaiming phrases such as “Sexy and I know it”
E. All of the above.

4.Going to the beach is ________________
A. Tranquil and relaxing way to pass the afternoon
B. An up & coming reality show entitled “Tan and Trashy”
C. An affirmation that society as a whole is failing
D. Anything imaginable except answer “A”

5.In order to live in South Beach you need….
A. A surgically enhanced body.
B. A surgically enhanced liver.

6.Complete the location where you would hear the following..
A. “Can I Snapchat your boobs….”
B. “Giiiiirrrl you fast but you be packing a small ass”
C. “I’m going to tap, tap, tap, tap tap, tapppppp dat assssssss”
D. “I be going to BO-LI-VIA. Come wit me. You wanna go to BOLIVIA o’ what”

Seriously? Seriously?

Answers:

1. D
2. C
3. A
4. D
5. B
6. A. Topless 15yr old at the beach
(Where the heck are your parents?)
B. Race course at mile 2.5. Sung as a rap repeatedly….for 4 hours?
C. Ocean drive boardwalk, anywhere at anytime.
D. Waiting at the crosswalk

It still doesn't do it justice. But South Beach is an interesting place for sure.
Can't wait to race there next year....for my first pro race!?!

Next Up:
Phase III: 48 Hours of Ecstasy

Here's to peace, hot-tubing & moving forward
Aubers

Thursday morning started with New England like snow. The heavy, thick, slushy type of snow that is just plain gross. Timing for the South Beach Triathlon couldn't be more perfect. Nell & I were outta dodge just in time and onward to the land of sunshine.

Now. I have never been to Miami.
I will start with the blanketing statement of "This place is F-ing crazy"
I will follow up with the promise that an entry dedicated to capturing the sheer mayhem is in the future.

The SuperShuttle Reality Show

Us: "Umm.....so maybe if you take the half a dozen suitcases out of the van and load the bike boxes first...."
meanwhile: SuperShuttle attendant takes i-phone pictures of our cases.
Us: "The boxes will fit no problem, they just need to get loaded first......"
meanwhile: SuperShuttle attendant has thrown her hands up in the air exclaiming "I just needed to take a picture of dat, I don't even know how to describe what I be lookin' at over herre"
Us: "Ok....Sooooo, can we do some re-arranging....?" subtle laugther
meanwhile: "I'm gonna need to get my boss over here to check this out"
Us: Blank Stares

{Enter Boss Man} (*who is maybe pushing 20 years old and still obviously working on balancing that 'professional yet still thug' look)

Boss Man: "Is this all your bags"
Us: "This is everything we have, 4 bags"
Boss Man: "Cuz I was getting the story that you had some bags on da other side....and that was causing the problem"

• We are still slightly uncertain as to what the "other side" was referring to. Perhaps some guests frequently like to scatter their baggage all around ground transportation so when it is time to load it up it's more of a scavenger hunt adventure?

In any case, after 30 minutes and two shuttles who threw in the towel on us we were on our way.

On our way to a private tour of Pine Street.....
Which is apparently where Justin Beiber got arrested for racing cars and blowing coke not too long ago.
"Hashtag O-M-G"

Assorted Incidents / Experiences

Our hotel is pretty far away from transition.....a solid 10 yards.
We'll have to set our alarms extra early to get down there in time.

Walking distance to a pretty great outdoor saline lap pool. Got in a nice PM workout Thursday after some bike shop adventures, because what fun would travel racing be if you didn't have to problem solve something!?!

A scantily clad bachelorette party attempting various 'selfies' while on their segways....yeah, visualize that for a second....caused a near death experience while out on the bikes today. Skateboarders 'doing tricks' also get the blood pumping. But we got a good shake out spin in and nobody was pancaked to the boardwalk in the process.

Being down on the beach in our race kits drew some attention. It was like people didn't know whether to check us out or give us the awkward disapproving glare. So we got a little bit of both, including some photo requests....

I love the mountains. But my heart sure has a soft spot for the ocean.

Up Next:

Phase Two: "So you think you can Miami" & Assorted Race Prep
Phase Three: "48 Hours of Ecstasy"

Quote of the Moment:
“Having a Vision is not enough. It must be combined with imagination, determination, faith, hope and passion. It is not enough to just stare up at the stars..." Victoria June

Here's to peace, finding a genuine Italian espresso cafe, and some old school Micheal Jackson,
Aubs